Waylen Ashwood

I try my best every day not to be completely overwhelmed. Most days, I get it right just enough – remembering to breathe, slow and steady to keep me from falling.

There are still so many things I want to experience. I know it’s selfish, wanting an end all to myself. Before anything else, I just want to see clearly, through untainted eyes, maybe even understand who I am.

Every night, I lie here, wondering how much longer I can hold on. In these moments, feeling the sheets under my hands is the only thing that keeps me focused, keeps me here.

I’m not afraid of growing distant from the world. It’s the guilt that grips me so deep, so quiet, because I know what this would do to you.

I know I’ve lost perspective. I see the lies my mind feeds me, and still, I feel their sway. I’ve accepted that there’s no getting out of this alive.